By the excellent
Craig Brown. You can read all of it
here. It was performed with proper Wittgensteinian accent
here.
My favourite bits:
2 Television contains the possibility of all situations.
2.1 It is evident that the world of television, however different it may be from the real one, must have something - a form - in common with it.
2.2 Though it is hard to see what.
2.3 People in the real world share many properties with people on television.
2.4 Not including Robert Kilroy-Silk.
2.5 If Robert Kilroy-Silk exists, he exists only on television.
2.6 Robert Kilroy-Silk is no longer on television.
2.7 Robert Kilroy-Silk does not exist.
2.8 He has been switched off. He cannot now be switched back on, other than in repeat.
2.9 It would be a sort of accident if it turned out that in future old episodes of
Kilroy! were celebrated as classics and sold in boxed sets on DVD. Just as we are quite unable to imagine spatial objects outside space, or temporal objects outside time, so, too, we cannot imagine repeats of
Kilroy! ever being viewed again.
...
6.4 In order to perceive the outer limit to television, we must sit all the way through
Celebrity Fat Club.
Twice.
...
8.1 What we cannot view, we must flick through in silence.